The BEST and WORST thing about 30 metal bands:
I'm a follower of youtuber Bradley Hall, and this is totally a ripoff of his video of the same title. I'll post a link to his video at the end of the article.
Accept:
Best: Wolf Hoffman and his wife Gaby were one hell of a songwriting team. Gaby's lyrics were especially smart and very forward thinking for the 1980s. The Balls To The Wall album as a whole is one of the most underrated lyrical masterpieces in metal. There's just one problem.....
Worst: It's album cover is fucking atrocious and made the whole world think Accept were gay band when they weren't. Also, Udo's voice is nails on a chalkboard, thank God for Mark Tornillo.
Angel Witch:
Best: Their s/t debut is a stone-cold underground classic that has aged very well, and has influenced just about every metal sub-genre that came after it.
Worst: Kevin Heybourne's vocals are really wimpy. Even for NWOBHM standards.
Anthrax:
Best: Joey Belladonna is the Steve Perry of thrash. By far the best pure singer of the big 4 and he still sounds great today.
Worst: Scott Ian and Charlie Benante are trend-chasing tools. Too many of their risks did not pay off and stock value plummeted as a result.
Anvil:
Best: Robb Reiner was an excellent and innovative drummer. He deserves way more credit as an influence for thrash.
Worst: Steve "Lips" Kudlow is an absolute cringe lord. STOP USING THAT STUPID FUCKING SMILE IN YOUR PHOTOS!
Battle Beast:
Best: Noora Louhimo is the greatest female vocalist today, period.
Worst: No More Hollywood Endings was an unmitigated disaster, and creatively, Battle Beast seem stuck in a rut after firing Anton Kabanen. Why did they fire him anyway?
Black Sabbath:
Best: Combined blues and jazz with their own unique riff heavy twist and gave birth to this thing we know and love called heavy metal! Managed to stay relevant and still produce classics in three different decades with different lineups.
Worst: Two words- Sharon Osbourne.
Blind Guardian:
Best: As a live band, they're one of the best experiences ever. Good enough to be in arenas. Nothing beats singing in unison with thousands along to their classics, especially Valhalla and Bard's Song.
Worst: Quite a few of their songs have a madrigal vibe to them, and it gives them an unintentional renaissance fair cringe.
Burzum:
Best: Varg Vikerness is the creator and master of the simple, repetitive, yet hypnotic riff. So many great songs where the riff repeats for minutes at a time and doesn't get boring.
Worst: He's is also singlehandedly responsible for every negative stereotype of black metal (and quite possibly modern metal): One-man bedroom project that never plays live, anti-commercial to a full-retard degree and the racism. Dear God the fucking racism. You guys know that metal is supposed to be against oppression, not for it right?
Cannibal Corpse:
Best: Absolute masters of the craft of death metal songwriting. Hammer Smashed Face is objectively the best death metal song ever.
Worst: The shock value wore off a long time ago, and to be honest the rapiness of the Barnes era is a little uncomfortable.
Emperor:
Best: In the Nightside Eclipse is an all-time masterpiece of the whole genre. Arguably the greatest marriage of keyboards and metal ever.
Worst: Everything else is just kinda uncoordinated noise. And who the hell decided to put Curse You All Men in the Rolling Stone best songs list? The correct answer was I Am The Black Wizards you numbnuts!
Frozen Crown:
Best: Federico Mondelli is the best metal songwriter of this generation. Him, along with Lovebites have given a much needed breath of fresh air to the stale and silly genre of power metal.
Worst: They still need some work as a live band. Giada sounds really nervous when she sings and it's a little cringey. Also, Call of the North was amazing because the death vocals were finally gone. Please keep it that way.
Gamma Ray:
Best: In the 90s, Kai Hansen grew into a fantastic singer and lyricist. He is proof that power metal didn't always have to be all dungeons and dragons, it could also be outer spacey and government conspiracy-ey.
Worst: He is also the Carlos Mencia of metal. He's stolen more riffs than Metallica. He's stolen so many riffs that if Gamma Ray actually made it big, they would have been sued into oblivion.
Helloween:
Best: They invented power metal as we know it today, and they're the only reunion to bring back the classic singer and guitar player, as well as keep the "new" singer and guitar player in the lineup and have it all work out brilliantly. Their reunion album is one of their top 5 releases.
Worst: Some of their song titles and lyrics are really, REALLY stupid, even for German bands.
Iced Earth:
Best: Jon Schaffer is an underrated songwriter and a S-tier rhythm player, easily on the level of James Hetfield.
Worst: He also threw away his career because he thought Qanon was real*.
Immortal:
Best: Had more classic albums than any other black metal band.
Worst: Ever since Abbath left, Demonaz has just turned become another one man bedroom project, and don't we have enough of those already?
Iron Maiden:
Best: Responsible for seven (yes, seven) of the greatest, most important, influential metal albums of all time in the 80s. And who doesn't love those classic Eddie album covers?
Worst: Leader Steve Harris has deluded himself into thinking that Iron Maiden is now a prog band and he has steered the band into the most boring "traditional" metal for over 20 years now.
Judas Priest:
Best: Rob Halford is the greatest metal vocalist (possibly vocalist period) of all time. He still sounds great today, although he does show some age.
Worst: They have the worst management ever. They should be so much bigger than they are now, particularly with their last two magnificent albums in a row.
Kreator:
Best: Pleasure To Kill is one of the most important extreme metal albums ever made. It is the missing link between Possessed's Seven Churches and Death's Scream Bloody Gore.
Worst: They've been stuck in this Arch Enemy melodeath worship phase for almost 20 years now and it has gotten beyond stale.
Lovebites:
Best: The best all female group of all time, bar none. Incredibly skilled musicians that managed to give a fresh take on the tired subgenre of power metal. It's nice to have the "vocal coaches" react to a GOOD band for once.
Worst: Vocalist Asami's vibrato can be a little obnoxious sometimes.
Manilla Road:
Best: One of metal's greatest hidden gems. Crystal Logic through Mystification are classics and required listening for post-graduate metal classes.
Worst: A lot of their "epics" are inflated by Mark Shelton soloing for way too long. While he's not a bad lead guitar player, you will find yourself looking at your watch during those longer songs.
Manowar:
Best: In the 80s, Joey DeMaio and Ross "The Boss" were the Paul McCartney and John Lennon of metal. Songs so stupidly catchy and anthemic you'll forget the over the top cheese.
Worst: They advocate rape in their lyrics on multiple occasions and it's very tone-deaf when they do. Power metal is really not the genre you should be saying that stuff in.
Mastodon:
Best: Reinvented metal for the 21st century in the right way. To wit, managed to take the sound of sludge and compress it into heavy, riffy gems with the occasional epic.
Worst: Brent Hinds is a loudmouth schnook who needs to shut the fuck up (although he hasn't said anything stupid for a long time now).
Megadeth:
Best: Rust In Peace is the greatest thrash, possibly metal album of all time. 30 plus years later it still dazzles with it's technical ability and songwriting.
Worst: Despite has talent, Dave Mustaine is a miserable git.
Metallica:
Best: James Hetfield is the greatest rhythm guitar player of all time. He wasn't a bad songwriter either. Maybe you've heard some of his stuff?
Worst: They're just embarrassing cunts that have committed so many crimes they should have been reduced to a 20 minute opening slot at 9:00 AM in the morning by now. Also, as bad and lazy as Lars Ulrich is as a musician, Kirk Hammett is somehow worse.
Morbid Angel:
Best: Altars of Madness and Blessed Are The Sick are two of the greatest death metal albums of all time....
Worst: and Illvud Divinum Insanus is one of the worst. Also, despite his talent, Trey Azagthoth is a miserable git.
Motörhead:
Best: An incredibly important band to mainstream and underground metal that managed to make at least 2 amazing albums in every decade of their existence. Also, Lemmy is God.
Worst: Complained alot about fans only liking Ace of Spades yet recycled that riff way more times than they should have, including on the very next album! I don't agree Motörhead was a one trick pony, but they didn't really do themselves any favors.
Ozzy Osbourne:
Best: The most successful metal solo artist of all time. The standard bearer for someone that escaped their supremely important, influential band and managed to carve their own multi-platinum path that's even more commercially successful and arguably influential.
Worst: Two words- Sharon Osbourne
Pantera:
Best: Primal Concrete Sledge invents an insane hi-velocity double bass thrash beat that no one has come up with before or since.
Worst: Influenced metal in all the wrong ways. It can be argued that metal never really recovered from their "ideas."
Satan:
Best: Their reunion output is S-tier, putting all old-school bands not named Judas Priest and Helloween to shame. Life Sentence is not just the album Iron Maiden fans want, it's the album Metallica fans want. Yes you read that correctly.
Worst: Brian Ross's high notes are cringe. I love high notes as much as the next real metalhead, but when he does them they just don't work.
Slayer:
Best: They were one of the most ferocious live bands of all time, with the uncanny ability to whip audiences into a deadly violent frenzy.
Worst: They were also one of the worst Nazi baiters. They made extreme right wingers feel "safe" in metal culture.
*yes I stole this line from Mad Mike, why do you ask?
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