Kai vs RYM metal charts: 1999

     


    Well, here we are, the final decade of the 90s. For better or worse, (for better) judging from past lists I predict zero nu/alt metal albums showing up on this top 10, but what does show up will be a mystery.  Let's go holy diving....



1. Opeth- Still Life

    Ugh...I knew this crap would be here.  A thought occurs to me: Opeth is the most bi-polar band ever.  Maybe that was the indicator that the United States has a mental health problem.  The Iron Maiden song of the same name > Opeth's entire catalog.

Should this be on a top 10: No

Would this be on my top 10: No



2. Immortal- At The Heart of Winter

    Thank God.  This should be #1.  Admittedly, one could say At The Heart of Winter is a little too late to the hi-fi melodic black-metal party, I say it's a critical party restarter.  So, fashionably late.  Plus unlike a lot of the Dissection clones, At the Heart of Winter still maintains its identity, thanks to Abbath's immortal croak.  Bonus points for the album sounding exactly like the album cover.  I mean, most Immortal album covers let you know what you're in for sonically, but even Stevie Wonder can figure out what kind of sonic experience At The Heart of Winter is.  Whilst not my personal favorite Immortal album, I bear no grudge against anyone that does, nor to anyone whom this was a gateway to black metal.   

Should this be on a top 10: Yes

Would this be on my top 10: Yes



3. Paysage D'Hiver- Paysage D'Hiver

    Who?  Well, then again I said that about Intestine Baalism (of course that was before I found out it got a boost because of Melon).  Then again I have an inherent distrust of most post-1996 black metal.

Should this be on a top 10: Not sure

Would this be on my top 10: No



4. Neurosis- Times of Grace

    Times Of Grace is one hell of a bow out of the 90s for Neurosis, putting the finishing touches on the launch pad for the likes of 00s sludge.  More wonderful agonizing brick slabs dropping on your head, somehow making louder screams then the screams you'll make when the bricks crack your noggin. 

Should this be on a top 10: Yes

Would this be on my top 10: Yes



5. Botch- We Are The Romans

    Mathcore isn't really my bag.  But unlike, say, nu-metal and metalcore, I maintain a neutral stance towards the likes of this and Converge.  It managed to project a less irritating energy to me than the likes of Killswitch Engage or Limp Bizkit.  That said, I got a question.  The sub-genre descriptions for this on its RYM read as follows: Mathcore (in bold), Post-hardcore, and Noise Rock.  Why is it this makes metal's top 10 for this year despite not having metal in the genre, but Rush's Permanent Waves and Moving Pictures, don't make the top 10 of their years?  Hell, Moving Pictures out ranks every album marked "metal" for 1981!   

Should this be on a top 10: Yes

Would this be on my top 10: No



6. Type O Negative- World Coming Down

    lol I am so late to the Type O Negative party.  I only just finished absorbing October Rust and I just got started on Bloody Kisses.  Shit, Bloody Kisses wasn't even on the RYM 1993 top ten! I'd rather listen to this than Opeth or the alt-metal that came out this year.  I'm sure it's fine.

Should this be on a top 10: Yes

Would this be on my top 10: TBD



7. Windr- Arntor

    Oooo now this album is fun!  I'll admit the production kinda blows in that you hear the synth lines more than anything else, but goddammit these are good synth lines.  "Kong Hydnes Haug" is the most underrated catchy black metal song ever!  I sort of want to compare Arntor to Emperor and I sort of don't.  It's definitely not as dark as the first two Emperor LPs.  It is cold as hell though, as you can tell from its album cover.  Bright and cold.  Maybe it should be called white metal? DAS RACIST.  Calm down, more like Snow White metal.  Wait, das also racist...and Nightwish.

Should this be on a top 10: Yes

Would this be on my top 10: Yes


8. Esoteric- Metamorphogenesis

    Who?  Metamorphogenesis sounds like something out of Sonic fanfiction.  And the horrible "OC Do not steal kind."

Should this be on a top 10: No

Would this be on my top 10: No



9. Drowning In Tragedy- Eternal Suffering

    Who?  Brutal AND Slam death metal.  Nope.

Should this be on a top 10: No

Would this be on my top 10: No



10. Regurgitation- Tales of Necrophilia

    Huh, so that's what that poster on J Dawg's wall is.  Never heard it, but brutal death metal is says.  Probably more "in-one-ear-out-the-other-how-does-it-go-again?"  Now that I think about it, maybe this got review spammed by J Dawg fans.  Yawn.  Pass the Gamma Ray.  No I'm not posting the uncensored album cover.  Look that up yourself and don't say I didn't warn you.

Should this be on a top 10: No

Would this be on my top 10: No


    Closing thoughts: I thought for sure Metropolis Pt. 2: Scenes From A Memory and Calculating Infinity would show up here.  Man these RYM weirdos claim they like prog but don't like Dream Theater.  I ain't a huge fan myself but come on!  Even then they only care about Mikeal's growls (as you no doubt witnessed the bedwetting of last year).  You'd have thought Marty Friedman came back to Megadeth or KK Downing came back to Judas Priest!

    The other snub that surprises me is Immolation's Failures For Gods Given how beloved Immolation become in recent years, there's no Failures For Gods either.  Failures For Gods is more of a real death metal album than any of that silly slam crap in the bottom 3.  Of course forget about this hipster lot recognizing the real Gs of 1999: Gamma Ray and Grave Digger.  booooo   I will once again take the stand that German power metal not taking over as the mainstream metal scene made America a weaker country.  We missed a potential classic MTV Spring Break episode with native Mexicans going apeshit in the crowd, as well as Kai Hansen and Henjo Richter repeatedly yelling "AWESOME! HELL YEAH! AWESOME! HELL YEAH!" at each other, while Dick Clark gets gets a migraine.  "Kai, Dick Clark didn't host TRL!"  Yeah well TRL is so old he might as well have.  Deal with it.

    The takeaway from this seems to be that the Chinese tiktok psyop only seems to have benefitted the Deftones in these parts.  Blech.  I don't know who's worse: Deftones, Limp Bizkit or Opeth.  No, it's definitely Deftones.  At least Opeth gave us some decent cover tunes (Maiden, Celtic Frost) and Wes Borland was smart enough to steal the Mission Impossible riff.


My alphabetical top 10:

BLACK LABEL SOCIETY- SONIC BREW

CHILDREN OF BODOM- HATEBREEDER

DREAM THEATER- METROPOLIS PART 2: SCENES FROM A MEMORY

GAMMA RAY- POWERPLANT

GRAVE DIGGER- EXCALIBUR

IMMOLATION- FAILURES FOR GODS

IMMORTAL- AT THE HEART OF WINTER

NECROPHOBIC- THE THIRD ANTICHRIST

NEUROSIS- TIMES OF GRACE

WINDR- ARNTOR



Now that I think about it, Immortal on TRL or MTV Spring Break would have also made damn fine TV



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