Me vs. Loudwire: The top 3 metal songs of the 80s
As we know, I had two previous correction article of Loudwire's plebness (90s and 00s). I was always planning on an 80s list, but life gets in the way and I just forgot about it (or thought chastising Lovebites was more important, which it was). Same deal as the other two. Top 3 + an honorable mention.
1980:
3. Ozzy Osbourne- Crazy Train
This song (and to a lesser, abstract extent, The Ultimate Sin) is in fact the reason you are reading this blog, dear reader. Yup while a bunch of beta chumps and chimps were 402 bad gatewayin into metal through nu-metal and metalcore, I snuck in through the backdoor, like a pimp, through this song. Nonetheless, I want to maintain some semblance of objectivity and not have it necessarily be #1 because it's my favorite.
2. Black Sabbath- Heaven & Hell
Much like Holy Wars ten years after, this song put Black Sabbath in stadiums despite being anything but radio friendly! Seven minutes, time changes, fantasy lyrics. This might actually be Black Sabbath's finest accomplishment! That alone should make it #1, but there were specific doors it didn't quite open that the #1 did.....
1. Motorhead- Ace of Spades
I'd like you to forget what you know and consider the following: 1) This song is a HIT, as in issued as a single hit the charts and all the Cliff Richards and Michael Jackson's had to share a top 40 (and top of the pops) with it. This was not some deep album track, ala "There Is A Light That Never Goes Out" that took on a life of its own and became the bands signature song through word of mouth. 2) Nothing in music was quite this fast the whole way through. Yeah there's "Rapid Fire," "Exciter," and Iron Maiden and Sabbath would have wacky speed up breaks in the middle of their songs, but those would be for less than a minute or so. Nothing maintained that velocity for 3 minutes. This intense. I can't quite say this is the birth of extreme metal (extreme metal means no singing aloud, and Lemmy carries a tune here), but it's the second last ram battering that gets the door ready to be blown open by the likes of Venom, Anvil, Metallica etc,. That's why "Ace of Spades" is the greatest metal song of 1980.
Honorary mention: AC/DC- Hells Bells
Technically, this should be #1, but everyone (including the band themselves) says AC/DC isn't metal. I'm still leaving it here over any other song though because it stands to reason, that this, the heaviest song on one of the top three best selling hard rock albums in the states, served as much of a gateway to metal as anything. Back In Black is one of those albums that....okay fine its not metal, but it's welcome at the party anyway.
1981:
3. Van Halen- Unchained
YES you fartknockers, Van Halen with David Lee Roth was metal. Did they have poppy moments? Sure, but then you had moments like this that split your head open with a riff that EVERY guitarist wish they came up with.
2. Iron Maiden- Killers
There were quite a few songs from Maiden's legendary second album that I could have picked, from the anthemic "Wrathchild" to the proto-thrash vicious fury of "Purgatory," but I'm picking this. #1, Paul Di'Anno never sounded more menacing and evil. He sounds like album cover literally talking to you. #2, you can literally trace the beginnings of Slayer, Celtic Frost, Sepultura and a hoist of other blackened bands to this song. #3, forward pushing as "Purgatory" is, it's not quite as transformative as the next entry....
1. Venom- Witching Hour
As much as we love to shout from the rooftops that the seminal-title track of the second album named and invented black metal, the hard truth of the matter is THIS, from the first Venom album Welcome To Hell, is where extreme music starts. Right here. Yea "Sons of Satan" the title track and "Live Like An Angel (Die Like A Devil)" are Mt. Sanai commandments for legions to come, it is this song that terraforms metal as we know it into something beyond Rock & Roll All Nite and Detroit Rock City. Need further proof? Slayer was covering it live. Six albums and 11 years into their career. and Slayer fans are happy to oblige.
Honorary mention: Judas Priest- Heading Out To The Highway
Hot take: this is a better anthem than anything on British Steel. Would only be surpassed by Priest's signature anthem "You've Got Another Thing Comin."
1982:
3. Manowar- Battle Hymn
The greatest under 10 minute heavy metal epic not named "Hallowed Be Thy Name." Highly influential song that no one wants to give any credit to because loincloths (which they haven't worn in 35+ years....just sayin). Not only was this massively influential on future power metal, the groove this song incorporates -that medieval shuffle march- would be used by all sorts of extreme metal artists from Slayer to Immortal.
2. Judas Priest- The Hellion/Electric Eye
Yes it's one song and anyone who separates the two is a horrible person. I was all set to put "You've Got Another Thing Comin" here (one of metal's premier smash hits all filthy casuals should know), but lyrics make the song, and holy fuck did Rob Halford predict the future here or what?
1. Iron Maiden- Hallowed Be Thy Name
The GOAT. It's fucking Hallowed Be Thy Name, the greatest heavy metal song ever created. I don't need to explain why it's here. P.S. Yes I know that's the cover of the 93 live single cover. Still counts.
Honorary Mention: Accept- Fast As A Shark
I'll be honest, I almost didn't want to put this here. I like Accept, but the status of Restless & Wild being considered Kill em All before Kill Em All really chafes my ass. First off, this is the only fast song on the album. Second of all, what did this do that "Witching Hour," "Ace of Spades," "Purgatory," "Iron Maiden" and "Rapid Fire" didn't do (or "666" for that matter)? It feels wrong leaving it off, but I keep it on begrudgingly. For all intents and purposes I should put another Venom song here (particularly one that names a sub-genre), but again, what did that do that "Witching Hour" didn't?
1983:
3. Iron Maiden- Where Eagles Dare
I know I'm supposed to put "The Trooper" here (in addition to not putting the album cover here lol), but I'm putting this here instead for a few reasons: 1) It's the song that formerly, album-ly introduces the world to Nicko McBrain, the best one-pedal kick-drummer since John Bonham, and what he was capable of. 2) I'm sick of "The Trooper." 3) It's a sad reminder of just how fucking great Steve Harris was at writing proggy epics when he had his head screwed on straight.
2. Mercyful Fate- Into The Coven
This song from the classic Melissa makes it here for exact same reason this song made the PMRC's "Filthy Fifteen:" they threw a dart because every song here is "Hail Satan."
1. Slayer- Black Magic
Objectively the heaviest song ever written up to this point, only to be topped by Slayer themselves the very next year......
Honorary mention- KISS- Lick It Up/Motley Crue- Too Young To Fall In love/Def Leppard- Photograph/Quiet Riot- Bang Your Head
LOL holy crap I need to control myself, I'm not sure what came over me there. But yeah, 1983 was the year the glam/pop ball started rolling and the beginning of many, many, many kids into metal, and these were more less the songs that did such.
1984:
3. Metallica- Creeping Death
The sad fact is, Haunting The Chapel EP beat Ride The Lightning to store shelves, leaving the Ride The Lightning album as sort of an afterthought it terms of heaviest ever. Still, Imma leave this Canadian 1986 performance here:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qi2Gn1QhJeE
2. Iron Maiden- The Rime of the Ancient Mariner
Again, remember when Steve Harris used to be amazing? I almost, ALMOST put "2 Minutes To Midnight" or "Powerslave" here, but this rime a) was a breakthrough in metal songwriting. No one had written a 13-and-a-half minute song in metal before that wasn't padded with jamming. Even Rush epics around were a bit flabby (but grabby). b) Singlehandely gave many metal high school students an easy project A in their English class.
1. Slayer- Chemical Warfare
This song is not only the galaxy sized foundation that Slayer would build the rest of their career on, its the song thrash would build its genre on from this point forward. Sure James Hetfield might have had some tricky precision riffs here and there, but many have said that you don't necessarily need to be technical to rule. Everything from the opening passage to the venomous lyrics to the San Andreas Fault level breakdown (none of you core kids can come close to matching this), "Chemical Warfare" is 6 minutes of brutality. Plus it informed the underground the importance of paying attention to something otherwise throwaway, like an EP.
Honorary Mention: Running Wild- Prisoner of Our Time
Hey guess what? Running Wild released a bunch of godly albums and songs during the 80s too, and why not stick with the gimmick even further? Every year Running Wild puts something out, it goes in the list for that year. Don't like it? Kiss Rolf Kasparek's pirate ass!
But yes "Prisoners..." much like Slayer's "Crionics" this is a song from another earlier band that sneaks its way on to an album that is for all intents and purposes, a first wave black metal album. Oh you think that's preposterous? Well peep these lyrics....
Paint in subways
paint in buses
With your Edding big black pentagrams
Black Metal Graffitis are thrown agains the wall
Crucifixes are inversed
pictures are signed by the triple six
black metal art is shocking law n order man!
yeah that's right, Rolf considered his band a black metal band in the beginning! Now granted Rolf was about as Satanic as Disturbed and model Jesse Jane in a pentagram bikini, and the gimmick ultimately petered out to which he switched gears to piracy. Point being, this Scorpions-esque song ended up on a first wave black metal album, but you know what? I love it the best anyway. And hey, there's even a self band name drop in the chorus? Slightly cheesy, but well baked pizza cheese.
1985:
3. Anthrax- Madhouse
Let me see if I have this straight. Rap-metal makes a giant dickhead comeback, yet one of the first bands to attempt this mixture (not that this track is one of them) gets shit on even more than usual for the attempt, so much so that all their classic stuff gets completely pushed to the margins? Fuck you alpha 00s nostalgia personality pricks.
But back to "Madhouse." Classic midpaced thrasher with the greatest thrash vocalist bar-none to do it. The first thrash video to take MTV if I'm not mistaken.
2. Carnivore- Male Supremacy
Before Peter Steele would do anything to make you cum at a snails pace, he was proclaiming the most outrageous and offensive statements ever put to plastic (a leftist ideal by the way)! He also wasn't afraid of musical dynamics. This song did the thrash-slow-thrash dynamic one year before Master of Puppets did, and with vocals on top of that!
1. Possessed- The Exorcist
Death metal's (and arguably American black metal's) ground zero on LP. No further justification needed.
Honorary mention: Running Wild- Mordor
Unlike my 90s lists I'm afraid most of these are probably gonna have to stay in the honorary mentions segments. This guttural fan favorite from the sophomore [slump] Running Wild effort Resetless & Wild was spinning J.R. Tolkien tales before most metalheads gave a flying fuck about Lord of the Rings (and is much musically darker than most of them too.
1986:
3. Iron Maiden- Wasted Years
One of three songs that most casuals know from Iron Maiden, the other two being The Trooper and Run To The Hills. Maiden figured out the exact amount of synth to toss into expand their sound and it payed off dividends. 40 years later and Somewhere In Time still sounds like the future. Not to mention no dungeons and sword tales here, just a simple message that we all need to remember: stop worrying about what you may or may not have wasted your life and realizing you can be living your best life right now!
2. Saint Vitus- Dying Inside
As far as I'm concerned, this is doom metal underground legends Saint Vitus' greatest accomplishment. Most consider the title song from the album this track comes from to be such, but I'm picking this one because it is the absolute perfect, harrowing narration of someone who is watching drinking destroy their life. Guitarist Dave Chandler's soul destroying solos are the chef's kiss, as the kids say these days.
1. Slayer- Angel of Death
Nothing else could be here besides this Reign In Blood opening track, nothing. I could entertain an argument over said album's closer "Raining Blood" over it's iconic "Hall of the Mountain King" riff and legendary breakdown (that core kids are more likely to look to instead of "Chemical Warfare)," but this song has all of those plus the most controversial lyrics in all of metal (unfortunately, these lyrics would also be the beginning of "no its not ok to punch nazis" bullshit that would permanently become an albatross around metal's neck in the 90s).
Honorary mention: Dark Angel- The Burning of Sodom
I once remembered ex-Billy Joel drummer Liberty DeVitto remark that there are two things that determine a songs speed and rhythm: drums and.....vocals. and once you hear that, it clicks in your head why a lot of power metal songs don't quite feel as fast as Metallica or Slayer songs. Lashingouttheaction returningareaction weakarerippedandtornaway just has more urgency than a power metal verse or chorus that has the same instrumental speed but half the vocal cadence.
But then you get to this. It's not the Don Doty is making silly guttural noises that you can't understand, it's that he's singing so fast you can barely make 1/3 of the syllables. But you understand him damn clear when he gets to FALLING FROMTHE HEAVENS, ANGELS LIEDECAYED, BURNING CITYOFSODOM, ONEBYONE SINNERSPAAAAAY. That chorus is sung melodically by the way (well, thrash melodically). Also, a little fellow by the name of Gene Hoglan decides he's done being Slayer's roadie and decides to seek his own fortunes as a drummer. He would go on to make much more "musical" performances than this but as far as I'm concerned this his most important drumming perfornace.
1987:
3. Running Wild- Under Jolly Roger
As we all know, pirate metal is not a real genre. It's either symphonic metal with pirate costumes, or speed metal with pirate costumes. This, ergo, is the end of Running Wild as a first wave black metal band, and the beginning of a speed/power metal band with a heavy lyrical entrenchment in pirates. Arguably Rolf's signature tune.
2. Bathory- Call From The Grave
Under The Sign of the Black Mark was a monumental achievement. And with the help of a music video, it might have achieved success with this arena made banger at the helm. Pay attention to its simple, but chilling solos. It's really funny how many people claim to love Bathory yet more or less leave solos completely out of the equation.
1. Helloween- Halloween
What Rime Of the Ancient Mariner started, this song perfected. THE greatest metal epic that isn't a one album track ala Crimson or Dopesmoker. The lyrics are, of course, bibbidy-bobbidy-boo nonsense. But when you have an arrangement this godly it don't matter. The only negative you can really say about this song is some ignoramus associated with Helloween decided to chop this 13 minute masterpiece down to 4 minutes so it could be a single/music video! I'd rather they'd have put out somewhat whimpy "Tale That Wasn't Right" and get misconstrued for glam than that travesty!
Honorary mention: Guns N Roses- Welcome To The Jungle
Hot take: This song and Appetite For Destruction did more for metal than Master of Puppets did. If you're gonna make the claim of "think of how many people wouldn't be into metal if not for Metallica." Well, same principle applies here. Guns N Roses were a glam band. Period. I don't wanna hear shit about "Muh November Rain" or whatever avant garde song you think makes them rise above the tag. Appetite was a hair metal album and this was the heaviest song on it. Ergo, it did wonders for metal.
1988:
3. Death- Left To Die
Some stiff competition from 1987 kept me from placing a track from Scream Bloody Gore, the only true masterpiece of Chuck Schuldiner, but I'd be lying if I said I didn't enjoy some of the tunes on the sophomore slump. And yes, "Pull The Plug" is one of them, as is the title track, but I've always liked this one the best. Mainly because of it's absolutely nasty breakdown.
2. Bathory- Blood Fire Death
My choosing the 1988 title track over "A Fine Day To Die" is two-fold: First of all there's more of a musical journey here. There's more dynamics and a stronger leaning into the viking sensibilities, which dovetails into my second point: Who the hell doesn't love screaming BLOOOOOOOOOOOD FIRREEEEEEEEEEEEEE DEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEATH?
1. Queensryche- Eyes of a Stranger
It pains me to leave anything off of my beloved Keeper of the Seven Keys Part 2. But I gotta be objective here if I'm going to convince the internet my e-peen opinion* is better than Loudwire's I gotta maintain some objectivity, and nothing, NOTHING had a higher emotional resonance in the year of our Lemmy 1988 than this cataclysmic conclusion to Queensryche's piece-de-resistance Operation: Mindcrime. How many nights must you relive this tragedy, Nikki? To quote Buzz Lightyear: Infinity & Beyond!
Honorary mention: Running Wild- Calico Jack
Between 87-88 Rolf decided to get some singing lessons. The result is one of the most underrated singing voices in metal. I liken it to Blaze Bayley but with the high range actually capable of singing Bruce's anthems. This is probably his most daring vocal performance ever.
1989:
3. Sepultura- Slaves of Pain
While 1989 seems like an off-year after it's absolutely stacked predecessor of a year (the best year in all of metal, fite me), any true fan knows that this was very much setting up the next decade of extreme music, and depending on who you talk to, Sepultura's godly death thrash mixture Beneath The Remains led that charge. The album is just a cavalcade of riffs, speed and violence that almost threatens to have the songs bleed into each other, but you damn sure will remember this one, arguably the nastiest of the bunch.
2. Running Wild- Riding The Storm
I'm on record saying the lauded Death or Glory is in fact, NOT Running Wild's finest hour, but even I'm not enough of a contrarian from giving this masterpiece of speed metal (NOT pirate metal, there's no such thing) every prop it deserves. You wanna know if you'll like Running Wild? Listen to this song.
1. Morbid Angel- Chapel of Ghouls
Not even my demented man-crush on Rolf Kasparek can stop this, arguably the greatest death metal song of all time from nabbing the gold medal of the twilight year of the greatest decade in metal. This song has absolutely everything you should have in an extreme metal song. Absolutely demented mindbending riffs? Check. Nightmarish vocals and lyrics? Check. A masterclass in drumming courtesy of the Commando? Checkmate.
Honorary mention: Coroner- No Need To Be Human
At first I wanted to have the top 3 come directly from the unholy trilogy of extreme metal, but the more I thought about it, the more I realize No More Color is about the sum of it's parts rather than any individual song, but I'm still going to recognize this absolute monkey orgy of tech thrash groove chaos. You WILL shatter vertebrae to this song. Tommy T. Baron writes better riffs than your favorite prog metal hero.
Well there you have it, folks. My top songs of each year of the 80s that is clearly better than anyone else's (or at least better than Loudwire's). If you're favorite song isn't here....I might be mad along with you because this was fucking hard. So many undeniable classics I had to leave off here to stick with a meme I've trapped myself in because the 80s was just that good. I've been thinking of a seperate post where I make a fifth place for every year I've covered up to this point. When that happens, who knows.
*Epeenion?
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