MOAR SPICY TAKES

1. The term "classic rock" is dead:

    90s and 00s bands can't and shouldn't be considered classic rock.  For one thing, they didn't have the small backlash period that 80s and 70s band did only to be re-curated under this new moniker.  It could be argued that grunge never "died," but more accurately it never went through a backlash period and those bands are still loved.  Fair enough, but Alice In Chains, Soundgarden and Nirvana never has been, nor will it be, classic rock.  and I like those first two!

2. Lars was right about the Napster, but... 

    ...he was a terrible spokesperson for the cause.  He should have picked Jason Newsted instead.  Granted in that timeline he takes so much abuse he leaves Metallica anyway, but at least there would be less bad juju surrounding Metallica considering he was forced out for the sake of the brand (which ultimately succeeded.  Stupid asshole posers).

3. Pantera was not called groove metal until the internet.

    Especially not with regard to Pantera. I remember in the Get Thrashed documentary they were going through the bands important to thrash, and Pantera was one of them.  I know a lot of people have their issues with Pantera, but I never had an issue calling them thrash.  I mean, in what ass-backwards third world pocket dimension are Use My Third Arm, The Great Southern Trendkill*, Fucking Hostile, Heresy, Primal Concrete Sledge, Strength beyond Strength among others groove, and not thrash?  Ok so the slow/groove songs were issued as singles but guess what?  SO WERE METALLICAS.  Hell so were Megadeth's!  I mean as complicated and speedy as Holy Wars is, Angel of Death  it is not (nor is it Fight Fire With Fire for that matter).  The term groove metal was always an insult for forcing out thrash, and it does surprise me certain bands adopted the term.  

4. Anthrax are unfairly maligned today, but they did it to themselves.

    (Editor's note: The draft for this was started before "It's For The Kids" dropped and the announcement of Cursum Perficio).  Seeing Anthrax's stock fall has been nothing short of depressing.  And it's not just the elitists, Pete Pardo in a video remarked that classic Anthrax wasn't something he listened to anymore.  At the very least Anthrax were way more cutting edge and adventurous than Metallica ever were!  But Metallica's "experiments" were commercially successful and Anthrax's weren't, so Metallica's betrayals and faggotry gets called brave and part of their meme (fuck you for the rage bait too Bradley hall), and Anthrax gets kicked out of the big 4 over it.  If I had a dollar for all the "kick Anthrax out of the big 4 for Overkill or Testament" comments, I'd have a free tank of gas! Taking ten years to make a new album didn't help either, and frankly given who has since then, they really don't have any excuses.  Well, we'll see how Cursum Perficio is received, but judging how many thrash veterans have been releasing their worst albums of all time these past couple of years I'd be lying if I said I wasn't nervous. 

Speaking of old thrash bands....

5. Dear all thrash bands from the 80s:

    Stop making albums.  You've said all you can say and you're basically putting out a product because you think you need it to tour.  You don't.  Just tour every year and sub out 80% of your setlist for deep cuts every time (most casual fans only want to hear one or two songs anyway).

6. Ronnie James Dio leaving Black Sabbath before those supposed final Ozzy shows was a beta move.

    For those that don't know, Ronnie James Dio rejoined Black Sabbath in 1991 to put out the God-tier Dehumanizer album (Ozzy punks fuck off, you can call Heaven & Hell and The Mob Rules AOR-esque Rainbow heavy metal records if you want, but Dehumanizer is Master of Reality with Dio on vocals (and Vinnie Appice on drums).  During the tour, Ozzy was on his No More Tours retirement tour, which was supposed to conclude in Santa Mesa, California.  Black Sabbath was invited to open for Ozzy on those final fates, which they accepted without consulting Ronnie.  As a result, Ronnie finished the tour with the exception of those final two dates.  Now, believe you me I understand all the resentment Ronnie would have regarding Ozzy.  But you know what you don't do?  Leave the band high and dry for those two dates!  First of all, not fulfilling all dates of a tour is unprofessional (yes I know Bill Ward did it as well, and it was wrong when he did it too), and second of all, it makes you look lower league, like you can't compete with the legends.  What you DO do is, at the very least the first night, go up on that stage, sing your ass off and blow the guy away at his own show.  Rob Halford replaced Ronnie that night, and it's a show that has an admittedly mixed reception, but is one of those special rarities that is still talked about to this day!  But imagine if that show was Dio putting on the performance of a career!  Hell, it probably would have rejuvenated his solo career!  But the truth has been coming out about Dio these past few years, and while he certainly wasn't Sharon or Ozzy, he certainly wasn't friendlier to his replacements than Ozzy was (look up Tony Martin's interviews on the matter).

 

*yeah I know the second half, the first half is thrash-borderline-death-metal.  Get bent.

Imagine Ronnie pwning so hard he forces his way into a two-singer Black Sabbath reunion? How awesome would that have been?