Why you need to stop liking nu-metal
.....or at least stop calling it nu-metal. Folks I have just entered my 40s, ergo, I was around when Limp Bizkit, Linkin Park, and the rest of these certifiable twat waffles were "poppin off" as they would say. And while I can only speak for my school, NOBODY LIKED THEM. Nobody liked nu-metal back then. People either liked Marilyn Manson (who I think is more responsible for Slipknot's popularity than the history books would tell you), Green Day, Wu-Tang, Eminem, Blink-182, Deftones (who I hate more than Limp Bizkit), System of a Down and Cradle of Filth. Korn at best had early albums that were respected but were thought to have "sold out" with Issues (which has the only two songs by them I like, go-figure).
Point is, nu-metal was not the universal gateway to metal Groomer mcCunty would have you believe. I was certainly aware of it, but my opinion was always indifference at best. Yeah they were all over TRL and I watched TRL, but I was less watching it for whichever Korn video would make it to #1 and hoping Ozzy or Iron Maiden would kick in the door and slap everyone straight. Wishful thinking? Yes. Delusional? Probably. Completely unrealistic? Well Brian Johnson and Lars Ulrich showed up there so it's really not unreasonable to think Wicker Eddie would terrorize the studio audience while Maiden cranked "The Wicker Man" "Ghost Of the Navigator" "The Mercenary" or whichever other shortish cut on the masterwork that is Brave New World. Unfortunately, I went to two different high schools. Or boarding schools rather. One with TV, and one without TV, and the one without TV I went to just as The Osbournes started. I'll admit, The Osbournes were never really of interest to me, but at least there was a chance the line-up of Osbourne/Wylde/Bordin/Trujillo (yes, that one) would kick in the door and sonically curbstomp any asshat who thought "I pack a chainsaw I'll skin your ass raw" was an acceptable substitute for standard tuned metal with shredding solos. Or at least solos of the Type O Negative kind. All this haberdashery could only lead us to one conclusion: MTV don't like having doors kicked in and they should just knock next time like nicebois Marilyn or Fred.
Point point is, nu-metal was around, but if it all dropped dead September 11th 2000, it would not have stopped me from further exploring Iron Maiden, Pantera, Metallica, Black Sabbath and others. Never bought a single nu-metal record, though I'll admit I came close with Toxicity or Slipknot. Then it finally went away, and we all thought we could breathe a sigh of relief, but then the metal-core goofballs with their crappy "extreme" core vocals arrived to turn the HIV into full blown AIDS. But that's another article for another day.
Well here are, decades later, and Metallica feels secure enough to take Limp Bizkit as an opener for their stadium tour- yea that really helps new blood. I don't care for Ice Nine Kills or Wolfie, but at least they were bands that were operating for under 20 years, and despite there being no more monoculture, boy howdy is the world trying to gaslight me into thinking that all these bands were always good and always metal. If signing up to be radical Islamist is the way to shut this down once and for all, I might damn well be yippie-kiy-aying "ALLAH PEANUT BUTTER SANDWICHES" in the next 5 years.
So yes, Nu-metal is back in public favor thanks to China, and until someone nukes Winnie the Pooh, I, and the rest of the Lovebites fanclub have to deal with it* Fine. GG. 1080 snowboarding no-scope. But there are 5 or 6 things we really need to start doing within its discourse to quit the abuse of the English language.
1. Stop calling it Nü, when it is in fact, quite öłð.
While not quite as ridiculous as New Wave of British Heavy Metal or New Wave of American Metal, the term "New" was always a sign that fire needs water too. It's a CONTEMPORARY TERM. Second of all, nu-metal is an arrogant press attempt to try and seem like metal died (remember I said that while the industry didn't kill metal, they certainly tried to), when that's always been bullshit. Look folks, the Grammys may not super matter, but the fact that there was a "Best Metal Performance" category throughout every year of the 90s should be proof pudding that metal still had a place in the monoculture. Now one can certainly make claims that bands whom were nominated for said awards like Nine Inch Nails, Helmet, and even Korn were never metal, you know who was also nominated in lean years? Iron Maiden and Judas Priest and Ozzy Osbourne. And remember, Ozzfest, mistake it may have been, had to fight an uphill battle, because the trendy festivals like Lollapallooza didn't want him (but they'd accept Metallica, go figure. Ozzy should have shaved his head and performed in dresses on stage again. Korn and Deftones debuts have turned 30 the past couple of years. Those bands ain't nü anymore, they're õļď.
2. Get rid of the European spelling.
An underrated reason for the hatred is the rather subtle one that these was the least European form of metal one could possibly be, and was there even one band of that sub-genre of consequence that was European? Or anywhere else for that matter (Sepultura doesn't count). What's that? Motörhead wasn't European either? Well Mikkey Dee was! So do your damn due diligence rather than thinking the band didn't make anything "relevant" after Ace of Spades.
3. Fuck it, I'll go woke. Where are all the people of color?
This one is especially chafing because every loves claiming how it broke down racial barriers and opened up black people to metal. Name me one black person in any of those popular bands from 99-01!
Go ahead I'll wait.....
Yeah not fucking one person of color as a nu-metal instrumentalist, nevermind a fucking rapper, even though rap/hip-hop was a black artform. and lets kill two whataboutisms with one stone a) Lajon Witherspoon doesn't count because Sevendust was an alternative rock band that just happened to gain traction during nu-metal's rise. b) Latinos are people of color are they not? Of course they are, but here's the thing, Latinos have ALWAYS been a part of metal. Metal's etnhic composition has always been 80% white, 15% latino, 5% everyone else. Yeah the guys in POD were Latino/Hispanic but guess what? So was Dave Lombardo, Tom Araya, Rudy Sarzo, Frank Watkins, Pete Sandoval, Randy Castillo, everyone in Angra, Sarcofago, everyone in Sepultura not named Derrick Green, and a shit ton of others!
Even if you assholes somehow scrape together a list of this bass player in that second rate band, or this guitar player in Crazy Town, they still aren't people you think of when you think of nu-metal. So yeah, nu-metal was, despite being birthed in planet earth's melting pot, the dead last African metal sub-genre there was. The least European and African sub-genre despite a claim to be both. Suburban shithead white kids every last one of them. So check your privilege before you wriggidy-wreck your cartilage.
4. We can't talk about "new" metal anymore because people don't know exactly what you are referring to.
Some video brought up how the "nu" term fucked up discourse of current metal bands and....yeah. Especially now with its comeback and these brain rotted gooners who will complain about Castle Rat being plants like "nu-metal" again. "HeY hAvE yOu hEaRd tHiS nEw mEtAl BaNd? WaIt dO yOu mEaN nEw oR dO yOu mEaN nU" DIE IN AN HIV POSITIVE SHITPIPE!
5. It was in fact, the fakest sub-genre in metal's entire history.
You don't need me to tell you that aside from the last 4 minutes or so of "Korn's Daddy," Nu-metal's "emotional relatability" was completely faker than hair-metal. Hell, at least hair metal was honest about getting rich and getting girls. Nu-metal was still trying to do the sorry ass "Kurt Cobain thinks its not cool to like anything so we're gonna pretend we don't like anything while getting all the money and pussy behind closed doors." As sad as Kid Rock's fall from grace was, at least he was honest with the message of doing it for money (and poon). BuT ChEsTeR. Well supposedly, the reason he was so "depressed" was cos he was deeply affected by Chris Cornell's suicide. And you know, the more I think about it, the less that connection makes sense. It would make more sense if Tom Morello, Brad Wilk or Tim Commerford or a member of Soundgarden killed themselves because of Chris, since they were super close. Cornell is a completely different kind of singer, and I'm certainly not an expert on Chris Cornell, but I don't remember any sort of Soundgarden/Linkin Park tour, album, video game, tentacle hentai or anything. I suppose someone could be such a big fan of someone to be terminally affected by a suicide, and I'd be willing to believe that if there wasn't a conspiracy floating around that the real reason Cornell died because he was digging into Epstein Island/Pizzagate and saw something he shouldn't have so they made it look...Like Suicide (I wish that pun DIDN'T work). In turn, Chester caught wind of that, went down the same rabbit hole Cornell did and he took one step too far. Now QAnon and all those dumb theorists are cancer. But a broken clock is right twice a day, and the fact that everyone else seems too scared to go down that path...well it proves the conspiracy right more than it proves it wrong.
6. Funk metal. Second Wave Funk Metal. That's what you call nu-metal.
Let's break funk-metal down to its basic components. It needs a groove, it can't be too fast to be undanceable, funk never had that many guitar solos I suppose. Once upon a time, there were bands referred to as "Funk-metal." And I'm honestly shocked it hasn't been repurposed by any kids today. Strangely enough even though it breaks a lot of elitist rules, it doesn't draw the ire of a glam metal or a nu-metal or a death-core. Now mind you, some of those bands that were called "funk-metal" back then, wouldn't even remotely be considered metal today. In Ian Christe's book Sound of the Beast- The Complete Headbanging History of Heavy Metal, he has special pages for sub-genres and albums he recommends from said sub-genres. Funk metal does have its own page, and this is what he has listed as the 10 recommended albums:
- Anthrax- I'm the Man EP
- Faith No More- Introduce Yourself
- Fishbone- Truth & Soul
- Infectious Grooves- The Plague That Makes Your Booty Move
- Limbomaniacs- Sticky Grooves
- Mind Funk- Mind Funk
- Mordred- Fools Game
- Primus- Frizzle Fry
- Red Hot Chili Peppers- The Uplift Mofo Party Plan
- 24-7 Spyz,- Gumbo Millennium
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