Kai vs RYM metal charts: 1986
1986 and heavy metal, in the minds of classic aficionados they go together like peanut butter and chocolate. Some important albums came out this year for sure, but does RYM know what those are, mainstream, and underground? Or do disproportionate voting calculations vote never-weres up, and important records down, like usual? We're including still including EPs, but I'm beginning to feel like that's a bad idea. Let's go holy diving...
1. Metallica- Master Of Puppets
So, I actually misspoke in the 1984 entry where I said that 1986 was one of a handful of years where a heavy metal album legitimately tops the albums of the year list of any genre. Which is hilarious because I also knew this in the back of my head, but my brain farted. This is #2 of all genres for 1986. #1 is The Smiths The Queen Is Dead. I agree with the RYM fanbase. At least in that the latter is better than the former. That said, The Smiths' best album is Meat Is Murder, but neither three of these albums are better than Reign In Blood, am I right?
Alright look, this is one of 4 albums that is usually called the greatest metal album of all time, but it really, really fucking shouldn't be. For starters, at least 3/4 of the hipster douche-canoes who love this but stick their nose up at Rust In Peace, Reign In Blood etc., are the same people who claim to hate Metallica (a.k.a. (The Black Album). Well guess what you faggots? You wouldn't have a goddamn clue Master Of Puppets existed if Metallica didn't have a record that sells a bajillion copies! For fucks sake this album is in the Library of Congress! Why isn't Paranoid or Rust In Peace in the Library of Congress? Oh right cos neither Black Sabbath nor Megadeth made a double diamond record that made the industry way too much money. As I said in my Metallica, Inertia & Numbers article, without Metallica, this thing only sells double platinum in the states. And even then they don't even go gold without opening for Ozzy Osbourne! Frankly (Mr. Shankly), Metallica is a better album. It's still an overrated turd that got too big for metal's own good, but at least it isn't a recycling of Ride The Lightning with the side two songs re-arranged so the average idiot (i.e. you) thinks it's breaking new ground.
Should this be in a top 10: Unfortunately.
Would this be in my top 10: Very low.
2. Slayer- Reign In Blood
There's definitely an argument to be made that Slayer gets their popularity from a bunch of disgruntled Metallica fans wishing Slayer's albums were Metallica albums (they're correct in the drumming at least). Nonetheless, this is a no-brainer. Here's where Slayer a) bumps into Rick Rubin and he tells them getting rid of the reverb would make them sound so much deadlier, and b) Slayer decide took the epic/progressive songwriting style as far as it could go and over-correct as much as humanly possible. Even though the album begins with a track that seems more like it belongs on Hell Awaits, the rest of the album is as short and tight as can possibly be. Fascinating still is Tom's vocals aren't guttural at all. He ain't singin, but he ain't Cookie Monster either. The important thing is you can understand every word he says, and it is for that reason only that tracks like "Angel Of Death," "Piece By Piece" and "Jesus Saves" still offend. This is unquestionably the most influential metal album of this year, possibly of all time. Metal is a much, much different place without Reign In Blood. By no means does it invent death metal, but it sure as hell fine-tunes the shit out of it.
Should this be in a top 10: Damn straight.
Would this be in my top 10: Damn straight.
3. Iron Maiden- Somewhere In Time
Always loved this album, only recently did it become my personal favorite Iron Maiden album. For two reasons, a) I used to think "The Loneliness of the Long Distance Runner" was a little too long, but re-appraising it it ain't as bad as "The Duellists," b) bumping into a comment that perfectly describes it's staying power: Forty years later it still sounds like the future. Absolutely does. Well, future in the 80s sci-fi way, but that's what the album is all about! The cover especially. That cover combined with the exquisite production (and those schweet guitar tones) make an absolute masterwork that damn sure belongs in the Library of Congress. The best proof pudding that traditional metal could hold its own against the oncoming thrash trend.
Should this be in a top 10: Damn straight.
Would this be in my top 10: Damn straight.
4. Candlemass- Epicus Doomicus Metallicus
Another correct choice. There were doom metal albums before this (and we're not talking Black Sabbath in this regard), but like Run DMC's Raising Hell, it feels like this is where everything in the sub-genre crystallizes. I also feel like this is what a lot of Sabbath purists wanted Heaven & Hell to sound like. Vocalist Johan Langvist isn't a clone of Dio like say, Liebling is for Ozzy Osbourne, but he certainly fits the otherworldliness of Dio. I think the biggest reason why Epicus Doomicus Metallica legitimizes doom metal as a legitimate movement is how it takes the bare necessities of current trends and applies them to such, i.e. double bass drumming. Whether you think doom metal is too slow or not, EDM (heh) is essential.
Should this be in a top 10: Yes.
Would this be in my top 10: Yes.
5. Megadeth- Peace Sells...But Who's Buying?
Goes without saying. Can't quite say I'd put it below Epicus Doomicus Metallicus though. The fascinating thing about Megadeth's sophomore effort is that it's virtuosic, but not progressive. At least not in the long songs galore way. It also very cleverly feels like a Back In Black type of an album where just about every song is an anthem, but really only the title track fits that bill. The other songs have a thousand rhythm and time changes, yet you remember every note like it's a stadium rocker. To contain that type of catchiness despite a formula containing anything but, that's masterful songwriting. Easily in the top 5 of the big four. And certainly very top 5 of 1986.
Should this be in a top 10: Yes.
Would this be in my top 10: Yes.
6. Kreator- Pleasure To Kill
If not for the brooding "Choir Of the Damned" intro, this would be even more brutal than Reign In Blood. Reign In Blood has clear cut counterarguments on why it's not death metal, but as far as I'm concerned, this is a death metal record. The number 1 thing that scares normies away from death metal is guttural vocals, and Mille and Ventor provide such that would impress even Slayer fans. This album is what a planet feels like just before it explodes. Another thing this album deserves credit for is the emphasis of the breakdown. Yes, THAT breakdown. Yeah there's one in Angel of Death and one in Epidemic, but that's just it, only two. This thing has vicious breakdowns in every single track, and no they aren't just generic detuned bottom note chugs, these fuckers sound like chainsaws ripping through school children. To this day, the grand champion of German extreme music.
Should this be in a top 10: Yes.
Would this be in my top 10: Yes.
7. Dark Angel- Darkness Descends
Ever wondered what Slayer would sound like if they didnt run into Rick Rubin, kept the songs long, Tom develops more death metal vocal style and the songs manage to do the impossible and get even faster? Well Dark Angel’s Darkness Descends is the answer to your quandry. This is arguably the greatest thrash album of the year. It also, like Reign In Blood and Pleasure To Kill, walks the razor's edge between thrash and death metal. Frankly, this is the album that tells me if your 1986 list is legit or not.
Should it be on a top 10 list: Yes
Would it be on my top 10 list: YES
8. Manilla Road- The Deluge
The internet’s love affair with Manilla Road continues and…. Yeah I’m not that big a fan of this one. If you don’t already like Manilla Road before hearing this, I dont think it will convince you. The production on this one is kinda wonky, and there are some recycled ideas before and after this. One of the few albums from this year I would rank BELOW Master of Puppets.
That said, “The Deluge" sounds like a colloquialism Strong Bad would use doesnt it? Youre hearing him say it in your head now, admit it.
Should this be on a top 10 list: No
Would this be on my top 10 list: Yes
9. Crimson Glory- Crimson Glory
I know absolutely nothing about Crimson Glory (other than they wore masks before Slipknot did, kek). I do remember Ultraboris gave them a bad review and I tended to avoid those bands (calm down, he gave Morbid Angel and At The Gates bad reviews too, and I eventually checked them out and loved them).* Just haven't gotten around to hearing them yet. Still, I wouldn't put this above Born Too Late, Orgasmatron or even The Ultimate Sin to name a few.
Should this be on a top 10: Possibly
Would this be on my top 10: My mind could change, but no.
10. Kreator- Flag of Hate EP
This is a great EP ("Awakening of the Gods" is my jam, and if it's not yours, we can be acquaintances, but not friends), but this didn't really do what Slayer’s Haunting The Chapel or Mercyful Fate did for metal. There's too many important LPs for this to be in a top 10 of 86.
Should this be in a top 10: no
Would this be in my top 10: no
For anyone curious, the “real” #10 is King Diamond’s Fatal Portrait. A passable, but ultimately disappointing unofficial follow-up to the legendary Don’t Break The Oath.
So there's 1986. Even though there was some roasting, this list is acceptable. For anyone upset about my Master Of Puppets comments, please send your complaints to goatse@lemonparty.gov.
Heres my alphabetical top 10 of the year:
CANDLEMASS- EPICUS DOOMICUS METALLICUS
DARK ANGEL- DARKNESS DESCENDS
IRON MAIDEN- SOMEWHERE IN TIME
KREATOR- PLEASURE TO KILL
MEGADETH- PEACE SELLS BUT WHO’S BUYING?
METALLICA- MASTER OF PUPPETS
MOTORHEAD- ORGASMATRON
ONSLAUGHT- THE FORCE
SAINT VITUS- BORN TOO LATE
SLAYER- REIGN IN BLOOD
Coming next week, the year metal officially went pop-culture, and not necessarily for the right reasons.
*Ultraboris also gave extremely high marks to Fates Warning's The Spectre Within, and I fucking HATE that record. I’ll bet a Klondike bar I probably would like Crimson Glory better than Spectre Within.
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