Changes Lovebites need to make to step up to the next level.
For those of you new here, Lovebites, the Japanese speed/power metal band that is of uniform Y chromosome, is my favorite modern metal band. I love them and want them to be the second biggest thing to come out of Japan (I say second because nothing will ever beat Nintendo). I want them to become the thing that so called metal elitist complain about, even though they are THE band of the metal elitists, as I am KING of the metal elitsts (I was hating the bands of my generation long before it was cool for any of you to do).
That said, they aren't there yet. And I feel like if they stay the course as things are, its just not gonna happen. So here I am, in all my armchair-quarterback-backseat-driver-pundit glory, with my suggestions on how Lovebites can ascend to the level of their (and my) heroes of Judas Priest, Iron Maiden and Motorhead. Either with the next record (and by that I mean the one after the upcoming Outstanding Power album. I mean I suppose they can go in at the last minute and change things, but that's unreasonable even for me). Some of these criticisms may be considered harsh or insensitive, but consider it tough love, and it seems like very few people are going to do this besides me. With all that said, let's go holy diving....
1. Make Mao a real member.
Why not? He's written half your catalog at this point! Yes I know he co-writes with Asami and Miho, doesn't matter (and it also begs the question what he can do that they can't at this point). You want to be seen with as little crutches as possible. And the only reason he's not considered a Desmond Child is, well....he's never made any pop hits. Look, the unwritten rule of metal is you aren't supposed to have outside writers, and the only reason no one has called you on that yet is barely anyone knows who you are (and let's ignore the various "contributions" of the first record). And it's not like you guys don't use keyboard tracks onstage. Just put him in a white (or black) tuxedo and stick him in the back left corner like Tuomas. "bUt ThAt wOuLd rUiN tHe aLl gIrL GiMmIcK!" Fuck that shit and fuck gimmicks. Let's be real, the all-girl band isn't as novel as it was 40 years ago. Besides, maybe throwing a guy in the mix will get rid of the "senpai" nonsense that unfortunately seems to follow all girl bands around, even if they play (occasional) thrash.
2. Miyako needs to start writing slower and bluesier songs.
I've seen her with Pantera shirts, and Pantera isn't "Use My Third Arm" and "Fucking Hostile" the whole way through (even though some fans would have wanted it to be). Look, most of the best bands get where they're going with variety. Even Blind Guardian didn't start breaking from the pack until they stopped writing sequels to Battalions of Fear. She's done it before, she can do it again. Also let's not act like bluesy isn't the key to making it. Japanese blues-metal sounds pretty nifty.
3. Move on from European power metal to either heavy metal, United States power metal, or even thrash metal.
But Kai, Lovebites PLAY heavy metal, they say so every night! "WE ARE LOVEBITES AND WE PL-
Cut.
The.
Fucking.
Shit.
Lovebites do not get sonically compared to "heavy metal" bands. and we all know it. I mentioned this somewhere else but a critical comments somewhere said "Lovebites claim they play 'heavy metal' but they really play power metal!" And that's 100% on the money. Lovebites don't get compared to Judas Priest and Ozzy Osbourne or Black Sabbath. They get compared to other European power metal bands cos that's what they actually play. European power metal.
This is a screenshot from Lovebites' metal-archives "similar bands" tab:
3b. A career path suggestion....
Piggybacking on the previous two suggestions. Again, Outstanding Power is on its way, and if it's what I suggest here, well y'all are clearly one-step ahead of me and I'll just shut the fuck up forever. But somehow I feel like it's going to be just another power metal album. Whatever.
Here's my idea for the next 4 albums:
- LP #6: Heavy Metal with one or two thrash (not power) metal songs
- LP #7: Thrash album. Every song is thrash. An Overkill, Megadeth or Anthrax album with Asami singing.
- LP #8: Doom metal album. Candlemass, Cathedral, Trouble, Saint Vitus. Mostly slow songs with the occasional stadium anthems to mix it up.
- LP #9: A return to power metal with little bits of the previous three albums along the way that will likely have left marks, evolving and finessing your sound unintentionally.
Some might suggest that since Lovebites (particularly Asami) have already written more thrash songs than heavy/trad songs, why not just go right to thrash? I disagree for one simple reason: Nothing pisses off a metalhead, thrashers especially, than a thrash band changing direction, particularly when it comes to fast bands. I worry than if they make a thrash album right away and do it really well, they're kind of locked into it. Whereas if they do something middle, then fast, then slow, people won't be able to 'adjust' so to speak and lock them into a subgenre box. Now some would suggest that they will already fall into the backlash with my suggestion by in effect already slowing down from power metal, to heavy metal. I disagree with this too. Power metal has considerably less toxic elitism than thrash does, and again, just look at Blind Guardian. Granted Imaginations From The Other Side and Nightfall In Middle Earth are still pretty firmly power metal albums, but they still show a firm branching out with very, very little "I wish they stayed fast" backlash among fans today. Granted that sub-sect exists everywhere, but other bands have it much larger than others.
So yeah, more anthemic next time. Hell look at the latest Helloween album Giants & Monsters! That album was chock-full of short and sweet anthems and it's their best album since Keeper of the Seven Keys Part 2!
And of course, I'm not gonna bother assigning which letter albums they are because lord knows what other releases Lovebites usually throws between albums, whether it's an EP or otherwise. Actually, speaking of which....
4. No more EPs, please.
I'll be honest, I get what Lovebites were doing with Lovebites EP II, but come on, who didn't want that to be a full fledged 8-10 song album? I also get that them doing the EP is a time-honored 80s metal tradition, i.e. Mercyful Fate, Slayer, Kreator, Helloween etc., but when you look carefully, all those bands release one EP at most. And the ones that went beyond that? Put it this way, everyone loves Kreator's Flag of Hate EP, but no one gives a high-flying kamikaze fuck about Out of the Dark...Into The Light. As frankly they shouldn't. So yeah, full-lengths only from now on. Also.....
5. Only 1 live album, if any, per tour please.
Four live albums. Four fucking live albums between Judgement Day and right now. There are more live albums now than Lovebites have studio albums! That is absurd. Granted Lovebites are amazing live (if brief on headlining US tours), so it's not a fatal flaw. Did we really need night 1 and night 2 of the comeback? Hell, I didn't think we needed the Tokyo Garden Theater show* but that's just me. There is such a thing as too much of a good thing. Please have some restraint and tread carefully in this regard.
6. Become friends/tour with the bands I like dammit!
Edge of Paradise? Who? Come on, I think the better idea is to align yourself with the likes of either other European power metal bands who aren't self-parody like Smoulder or Frozen Crown. Or hell for the US, US trad metal revivalists like Crypt Sermon, Sumerlands, Eternal Champion or even Tower. A Lovebites-Tower tour. Who the hell wouldn't want to see that?
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